This too shall pass

We're days away from December 2017, and 2017 and all of the issues it has thrown at us appear to be coming to an end, all at once.
Our house is going unconditional tomorrow (hopefully). I would definitely recommend selling your own home, I'm going to do a post with tips and tricks to make the process smoother for other people.
Our apartment is getting there, Rhys took some photos this afternoon and the new floors are down.
Our holiday is just over two weeks away! We're off to Singapore and Hong Kong. Somewhere new for a change, instead of a fourth trip to Hawaii since Imogen was born (I really love Hawaii! I could visit every year).
My health is getting there, sure I have issues that I'm still working on, but I'm up and functioning. September/October seem like a bad dream.
I'm recruiting again (well trying!).

So future me, deeper into your PhD, please remember how bad spring 2017 got.
The pain of untreated RA, the stress and uncertainty of our living arrangements. The exhaustion that came with trying to hide every problem from the kids. If you made it through 2017 you can make it through the next thing. Good luck. 

Australia says YES to love

 I was so relieved when my country didn't chuck a Brexit or Trump yesterday morning when the Australian Bureau of Statistics announced that love won. We didn't have an insane silent majority, too afraid to let their bigot flags fly in public. No, the vote mirrored what you can see out in public, it was similar to the opinion polls. It's time for equality.

Australia voted yes when asked the question should same sex couples be allowed to marry.

The postal vote really annoyed me, I've been married for 7 years, why are you asking me if another couple should be allowed to get married? It really is none of my business. Rhys asked me to marry him on March 29th 2008 and I said yes. I feel like that should have been the first and last time I had a say on whether a wedding should go ahead or not.

But if we're having a vote, I am voting YES. And I made sure that everyone where I was living at the time (mums house) voted YES too. Grabbing their mail, watching them tick yes and making sure that they were posted back that same day.

When the stats man announced that Australia had voted yes I cried. Relief that the world isn't as bad as I feel like it is right now. While I was easily able to get married, I still know what discrimination feels like, I know it when I see it. I know what it is like to be rejected from an institution because of things about me that are out of my control.
I hope that our government passes it into law quickly. I look forward to 2018 being the year of "I do".
Congratulations to the LGBTQ+ community. 

Just need to write the next post

I have really been struggling to complete any one project this week, bouncing between reading abstracts for an upcoming conference, writing an ethics proposal for a retrospective study, recruiting and data entry of the data that I have so far. I'm finding that I have islands of time when I am extremely successful and get my goals for the time done. But I've had a lot of potato time this week. Sitting in front of the laptop, feeling like a potato. I have a lot of good intentions, but I'm burning through my energy very quickly. Or even finding it hard to get a day started.  And then I feel my anxiety levels rise. I am have not met my goals for the morning so the entire day feels like a write off. Which just isn't true, most of my best work is completed in the afternoon or at night, I just need to get used to setting aside that time for PhD work and face the fact that, when it comes to self-directed learning, I'm never going to be a morning person. 

At least I've added to the blog. 

A case of the Mondays

In this situation I'm my own co-worker

Can you get a bad case of the Mondays working from home? I swear out of all the days of the week, I struggle the most on Mondays. I spent this morning reading. I answered some emails in the afternoon, but it was not until after 2pm that my work ethic really kicked in and I finished off a task I'd been meaning to complete this morning. Leaving this afternoon's tasks to tomorrow afternoon, because I have work tomorrow morning.  This might sound hippie dippy, but I did some anti-anxiety meditation before I was able to get stuck into it. I've been carrying around a lot of stress, anger and pain this year. With the apartment, selling our house and my health issues. I'm finding that I have dark days where I cannot see into the future, I cannot see happy times, only the pain and disappointment and frustration that we are currently dealing with. And the control freak in me hates that so many things are out of my control right now. So I listened to a youtuber who gave me permission to let those issues go. If not for tonight when I'm trying to fall asleep, at least for the moment when I'm trying to get some work done.  I know that years are arbitrary measures of time. But I am so done with 2017. I can't wait for the end of the year and I really do want to start of the new year fresh, with a sold house, an apartment we can move into and my RA under some level of control. It's almost midnight! Good night! 

Christmas shopping 2017

Immy's favourite doll is an Our Generation doll, whose name is currently Lucy (she was formerly known as Ellie, and I bet it will change again).  I like this doll, it doesn't have any make up on, it's got freckles and looks like a human. This doll has so many accessories. Trust Immy to request the most expensive one. This doll has her own ice cream truck. I was thinking it might be around $100. Nope. I'm looking at $250. Parental guilt will probably result in me buying it. We've had a rough year. She's had to move twice (with a third move to come) she's lived out of a suitcase since August and will not be settled into her new home until after Christmas. I was hospitalised in October. I just want her and her brother to have an amazing Christmas. They sense the stress Rhys and I have been under this year. I'd like to give them an amazing Christmas. 

I have a opposite problem with my son Arch, I have no idea what to buy him. He loves dinosaurs, power rangers and puzzles. He has a lot of dinosaurs, power rangers and puzzles. 

I like to buy them a toy, an outfit and a book for each birthday and Christmas. They are so spoilt by their grandparents that we don't need to buy any more than that.  

Everything takes so much time

I'm getting better at predicting how long things will take to complete. But I'm still surprised by how long some tasks take. I remember with submitting an article last year I sat down thinking it would take two hours to check and format my references. EIGHT hours later I was ready to submit. I think that it's a combination of wanting/needing to be as accurate as  humanly possible and also having the feeling like you have as much time as you can spare to dedicate towards these things. I shudder to think of the hours I've spent on some tasks. I think being part time adds to it, I've never felt like I've had a long period in a research groove. I'm constantly finding myself picking up on a task that I may have started 3 months ago but had to set aside for something more pressing. 

I google PhD memes and the marriage vs the PhD one made me laugh. Rhys and I have been married for exactly 7.5 years today! He is so very supportive and he shows so much patience when trying to teach me how to use excel. A program that I still believe is the least user friendly program I've ever come across. I don't understand why he loves it so much. He's an engineer. I guess that should explain it.