Rawr

QLD museum

My family does not adhere to gender norms very well. And sometimes it hurts. My son is very attached to his Daddy, like a lot of children get very attached to Mum. "Only Mum will do."

Except it's not Mum. It's Dad. I'm currently lying in bed at midnight, feeling rejected. As only Dad will do. 

Alas, Ri is out tonight with some mates, something that he basically never gets to do. So it's just me and the kids for the evening. Everything went fine until we reached the end of story time and it was time to go to sleep. My almost-seven-year old said goodnight and immediately fell asleep. My son, my four year old, my Arch, begged me to sleep next to him. When I snuggled in next to him he started screaming for me to get out. Only Daddy would do. And my heart still hurts. 

Arch ended up coming to my room, apologising and asking me to come back and lie next to him while he fell asleep. After begging me for Daddy, one more time.

I've always taken great pride in Ri's parenting, he is amazing with our children. And me feeling insufficient as a Mum has nothing to do with him being amazing. 

I'm feeling tired and anxious in myself, it was hard not to burst into tears and let the four year old know in no uncertain terms how he hurt my feelings. But I honestly don't think it's Archie. 

So I swallowed my pride, put him to sleep... and wrote a blog post about it instead.